Some Thoughts on Weight and Body Image

Today, while cruising Pinterest, I saw something disturbing...it wasn't just the content either, but the fact that it illustrated a larger issue with our society.  The pinner had put the comment "how she went from dumpy to rockin a bikini" on an image of before and after pictures of a presumably young (headless) woman. In the before picture, the woman appears to be a healthy weight and build. In the after picture, she looks (in my opinion) over-tanned and under-weight. It bothers me that girls are being taught that in order to look good their bones need to be visible. I once heard someone point out that when we see pictures of animals with their skeletons visible people talk about abuse and neglect, but when models or celebrities have protruding hip bones or ribcages they're "sexy".  Now, I realize that some people are naturally thin...that is NOT what I'm talking about. I'm talking about women (especially young, but all really) thinking that they have to starve themselves or spend hours a day in a gym to achieve a particular look.  Our Father in Heaven made us in all shapes and sizes, and we need to learn to love and accept ourselves the way we are. Eat right, be active, and embrace our shape.

That is something that I'm working on. I got to thinking today about the fact that I need to take control of my own body image so that I don't encourage issues in my daughters.  I have been unhappy with my weight for the better part of my life. Even after losing roughly 30 pounds for my wedding, I felt I could stand to lose another 5-10.  I look back now and think simply some toning up would have been sufficient.  What I should focus on is the fact that I felt GOOD and I was enormously HAPPY to be marrying the man I loved (still love).  Yes, my body has changed in the last 13 years and it may never go back to what it was. It has also carried 4 babies, and that man I married...he still thinks I'm beautiful. He makes me FEEL beautiful too; when I'm not self-sabotaging and allow him to.  Our kids think I'm the best mom ever (most of the time) and love me as I am. They also occasionally poke my belly or tell me I should get more exercise, but they don't mean to be offensive.  So, why is it so hard for me to love myself?

I AM working on getting healthier...and I try to focus on that. I try not to call myself fat or say I want to be skinnier in front of the kids, but am I setting a good enough example? Another thing I realized today is that no product is the magic fix for me. Just like no one type of food is the problem.  The problem is my ATTITUDE toward food and my feelings about myself. The answer is to eat smarter and be more active.  It's about finding a balance. It's about learning to love myself as the daughter of God that I am.  It's about being the best ME that I can be...mentally, physically and spiritually because it's all connected.

So, I challenge you (and myself) to work harder to see yourself as God sees you.  To see the strengths instead of the weaknesses...because I am confident that to Him we are ALL beautiful! Then, maybe, once we see ourselves as beautiful and worthy we will start treating ourselves, and each other, better.

Two Castles and a Bucket List

The one thing (besides visiting all of us) that Dad REALLY wanted to do while he was here was to swim in the Mediterranean Sea.  After just a little bit of consideration we decided to drive down to Kizkalesi so that we could also see some castle ruins.  It was the first time Ben, the kids and I had been there as well. The weather was just about perfect for our day trip.

The Castle in the Sea or "Maiden's Castle"

We started our adventure by walking along the beach and exploring the ruins. There are actually two castles: the Castle by the Sea and the Castle in the Sea.  The story is that long ago the king was told by a fortune teller that the princess would be poisoned by a snake and die. In order to protect his daughter, the king built a castle on a island where there were no snakes. One day, a basket of grapes was sent to the princess by an admirer. Hidden among the grapes was a snake which bit and killed the princess.

Outer wall of the inland side of the Castle by the Sea

It's possible to take a boat to the island to explore the Castle in the Sea, but we stuck to the one on land.  The kids loved climbing around the castle ruins. Although, Keri was a little annoyed that I wouldn't let her follow her sister up on top of the walls. Shortly after we got to the castle, the battery in my digital camera died. I switched to my other camera, but haven't been able to develop the film yet (not many places develop actual film anymore).

Inside the castle

Lizzy climbing up a guard tower?

After exploring, we ate lunch at one of the hotels near the beach.  The selection was limited, but the food was pretty good.  Then we rented some beach chairs and headed down to the water.  Since it was early November I was a little nervous about swimming, but the water was perfect. We all had a lot of fun swimming and playing on the beach.  A nice couple even gave Mom their umbrella when they left.  I think they mistook her for German as well (tried speaking to her) which is funny since Dad was constantly being mistaken for Turkish while they were here.

Kids posing in front of the seaside of the Castle by the Sea

 

Mom and Dad :)

Mark one thing off Dad's bucket list.



A Quick Trip to Tarsus

Ben took leave (sort of) while Mom and Dad were here in October-November. (He still had to go into the kennels quite a bit due to circumstances beyond our control.) We weren't able to do as much traveling as we (especially Mom and I) wanted, but we did get a couple of short trips in. One of those was a quick trip to Tarsus. We dropped the kids off at school in the morning, and the four of us drove up to do a little exploring.

Our first stop of St. Paul's Church. There was a group having a service while we were there, so we tried to take some pictures without disturbing them too much. There are beautiful murals on the ceilings (obviously redone but beautiful none the less).

Outside the courtyard with two of my favorite people.

After we left the church, we tried to walk to St. Paul's Well and what is believed to be the ruins of his home.  We saw some of the city and a nice little bazaar (and I found a pashmina I wish I had bought), but we never did find the well. I should have come at it from the direction I had come from the one time I've visited instead of following the tourist sign.

A short photo op at Cleopatra's Gate.

We got back in the car and drove to Cleopatra's Gate and the ruins of the old Roman road.  Just outside of the fence at the road we bought some baklava from a street vendor. It was sticky and sweet and so much cheaper than at restaurants. From there, I probably could have found St. Paul's well. Unfortunately, we were short on time...we had to get back to base to pick Keri up from school.




Our last stop on the way home was the waterfall.  I had told Mom and Dad all about how great it was and then we get there....and they're dry! Apparently Fall is not the best time to visit.



This old man climbed all the way down the dry falls.

We got Keri from school and walked out to Moonlight to eat a late lunch before picking up the older kids.  In the nearly three weeks that they were here I think we ate at Moonlight four or five times.  Mom and Dad really enjoyed it and the owner loved seeing us all come in.  The first time, he actually brought us some "Turkish pizza" (I can't remember how to spell the actual name) because I'd brought "Mama". 

A Double Baptism

About a year and a half ago (yes, I'm slow) our sweet Alex chose to be baptized.  It was a wonderful day made even more special by the fact that we were able to do it in the Mediterranean Sea and to share the day with a good friend.  It just so happened that our friends' daughter Alina had also just turned 8, so we decided to baptize them together. On the day of the baptism our ENTIRE branch (all 30, or so, of us) loaded up in cars and drove to a beach just outside the village of Yumurtalik. 


They had been holding hands as they walked, but we missed it.

Apparently, a serious discussion

Alex and Alina posing before.


The weather was wonderful and, I'm told, the water was only a little cold.  We had the whole service right there on the beach...complete with prayers, talks and music.  A local man got curious about what we were doing and stood with us on the beach for most of it. It was definitely memorable!

Headed into the water with Dad.  He was a little nervous.

And, when he came back up.

 

We ended the morning by having refreshments served out of the back of the vehicles and then driving home.  It was a good day!



Gramma and Papa and Halloween Fun

We were so excited last fall to have Gramma Connie and Papa Ray (my wonderful parents) come out for a visit. They stayed with us for almost 3 weeks and we had so much fun. (This will not be the only post about their visit.) For now lets focus on the fact that they were here in time for Halloween. YAY!

Our Halloween fun started with the annual parade at the school. Keri's Sure Start class dressed up as alphabet trees from the book "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom".  The rest of the elementary students dressed in rhyming costumes. Its always interesting to see what the kids come up with.

Batman with a Frying Pan

Jedi with a Black Eye

It's funny...last year Alex was Batman with a frying pan and Garret was a Jedi with a black eye.  I guess our boys aren't very original, but it's nice that we can get by with using the same old costumes. Next year we're going to have to try something new.

They donned their costumes again on Halloween night for some trick or treating here on base.  Lizzy dressed up as a Shadowhunter (from The Mortal Instruments series) complete with runes of power. Luckily, we had Gramma Connie here to draw the runes on with an eyeliner.  Alex and Garret stuck with the same costumes they had worn for school (minus the rhymes). Keri was, of course, a princess.



Ready to slay some demons

Don't mess with Batman.

My favorite Jedi knight (this year).

All hail Princess Keri!

My wild bunch.

 We all had a lot of fun and the kids got a lot of candy to share with Mom, Dad, Gramma and Papa. :)