A couple of days ago I saw a link on Facebook to an article about ADHD. According to the article the doctor who "discovered" the disorder stated on his deathbed that it wasn't real. Apparently its just a ploy by doctors and pharmaceutical companies to create lifelong patients/drug users. Its also a way for teachers and parents to make their jobs easier and take away a child's individuality. As the parent of a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD, I find the article (and even more so, the comments readers made) very upsetting. Rather than getting into an emotional rant on Facebook, I thought I'd share some of Alex's journey here.
Alex has always had a lot of energy. He is also sweet and loving and sensitive. When he went to Head Start he had some issues with paying attention (not uncommon at 4-5 years old) and keeping his hands to himself. He wasn't (usually) trying to be mean, he was trying to ensure that his friends were paying attention by touching them while talking, or getting overly excited and rambunctious. It caused a couple issues with other parents, but we weren't too concerned. Kindergarten and most of first grade (while we were in Texas) was a lot of the same. Teachers told us that Alex was socially immature (even though he was one of the older kids in the class) and academically behind. Instead of looking into it more, though, they just seemed to label him a problem child.
In February of his first grade year we moved here and he had a great teacher. Through her hard work, and help from the reading specialist that the school has, Alex was able to make up a little bit of ground. It was also the first time that he ENJOYED going to school. He was still behind his class, though, and it caused more problems in second grade. In addition to being behind academically, Alex began acting out more. He broke down crying in class almost daily, hit himself in the head, and called himself stupid. The other students didn't always react well to this behavior which added to the problem. Alex also started making up stories and would get extremely upset if you challenged the truth of them...I think that he actually believed them himself (at least sometimes). My sweet little boy was turning angry and combative.
We met with the school to discuss options. They evaluated him and discovered that he has a couple of different learning difficulties. At their suggestion, we also had our pediatrician evaluate Alex for ADHD. The doctor said there were some definite signs, but he wasn't comfortable making the diagnosis because it wasn't a clear cut case. At school, they implemented additional help (both in his regular class and in the resource room) and modified the work he was required to do. He also started meeting with the school psychologist on a weekly basis. All of this has helped, but Alex is still behind...and seems to keep falling further. Homework is a daily fight to keep him focused on what he's supposed to be doing. EVERYTHING is a distraction. Garret now reads at a higher level. And Alex is very aware of the differences between him and his classmates. We're at the point at his teachers and the school staff are now recommending we consider having him repeat third grade. In the past, they've always said that it wasn't a good idea to hold him back.
At the beginning of this year (calendar, not school year) we went back to the pediatrician and were finally given the diagnosis. The doctor said that he generally likes to prescribe a combination of medication and Cognitive Behavior Therapy for ADHD patients, but CBT isn't available here. Alex was put on a medication which helped quite a bit. Unfortunately he was taken off of it after only two weeks due to other issues. He was without any medication for a couple of months and it was really tough. Alex noticed the difference too. He just started something new a couple of weeks ago, but it's not actually for the ADHD. It's to help him "hold himself together" because...
What concerns me even more than the academics is his emotional well-being. This past year has led to a very unhappy boy. Alex's self-esteem has been on a decline. He says he's stupid...he doesn't know who he is inside...he feels out of control inside...we never loved him...the family would be better off without him...he wants to run away...it would be better if he were dead...etc. He is annoyed and angered very easily, especially by Keri. Nothing is as painful as watching your child suffer and not knowing how to help. This new medication seems to be helping, but we're hoping it's not going to be a long-term thing.
The other thing we're doing is applying for an early reassignment. We are trying to get moved to a base that will be able to provide Alex with the therapy which he needs. The kids don't know that that is the reason for our upcoming move, though, so please don't mention it if you see us. We don't want Alex to feel like he's responsible for moving the whole family early. He already internalizes everything.
So, the point of this lengthy post...ADHD is not a convenient diagnosis that we're using as an excuse to medicate our son to the point that he loses his identity (as some people seem to believe). It's not convenient at all...it's something that we have been fighting and agonizing over for over a year. We choose to medicate him not to suppress his individuality, but to allow his sweet spirit to shine through. We want nothing but the best for our boy (and all our children)...to be the best Alex that he can be.
It may be that there are children who have been inaccurately diagnosed or that doctors have over-prescribed drugs, but that doesn't mean that there aren't children who have a genuine need. Generalizing is dangerous and can be hurtful. Perhaps we should all be more willing to give parents the benefit of the doubt.
